Anxiety Tool Kit – Body, Mind, Spirit: Part III: Spirit

Written by Michele Dial, M.Ed, LPC

Well, here we are. The third and final installment of the Anxiety Tool Kit. Before we dive in, how about a little quiz to test your knowledge of how anxiety impacts you.

https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/rm-quiz-stress-health

So, back to the Tool Kit. Part I: Body focused on ways to mitigate the bodily response to anxiety through various physiological strategies. Part II: Mind addressed thought patterns, negative self-talk, and reducing anxiety by changing your perspective. Now we’re going to tackle the least tangible of the three components – the Spirit.

Oxford defines the spirit as the nonphysical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character. This is our core sense of being. This is a dimension of self that houses creativity, spirituality, feelings, perception, values, and beliefs. It is our essence. So perhaps this part of our humanness is the most important to consider when it comes to anxiety.

BOUNDARIES

As Robert Frost writes in his poem Mending Wall, “Good fences make good neighbors.” It’s a metaphor for relationships (all kinds) that I seriously support. Boundary crushers include trying to be everything to everybody and accepting less-than-respectful behaviors from people in our lives, total strangers to closest confidants. One key component of reducing anxiety is knowing when to say no and when to say yes – to requests and behaviors. Setting boundaries with the people in our lives – building fences, if you will – communicates the limits of what we are willing to give and to accept. They allow us to protect our sense of self and our reserves in order to maintain balance in our lives. Choose and set them wisely because they only work if you are able to stick to them yourself.

SELF-COMPASSION

Self-loathing and criticism exacerbate anxiety. We are not super-human; we are super humans. We serve others to the point of exhaustion, because we care so deeply. But then we beat ourselves up for running out of time and energy before we finish everything . . . literally EVERYTHING. It’s no wonder we fret about the uncertainty of the future – we have a record of punishing ourselves for falling short of impossible, self-imposed standards we would NEVER expect of someone else.

Why do we expect more of ourselves than we do other people? Why are able to give grace and understanding to others, but don’t afford ourselves the same? It’s a double standard that kicks anxiety into high gear and crushes our self-worth. Starting TODAY, try talking to yourself in the third person with same lovingkindness you would show to your best friend or your child. After all, you ARE someone’s child/best friend/loved one. You deserve the compassion and grace you so freely give to others.

CREATIVITY

Creative outlets such as writing, drawing, crafting, and building offer relief from anxiety on multiple levels. Anxiety, by definition is about things that have not happened yet, and may not ever happen. Creative projects draw your attention to the present so you can stay grounded in the here and now. It makes sense to have an eye on the future so that you are prepared for what may come. But don’t let yourself get consumed by future worries. Leave it at awareness, and keep the majority of you focus on what’s happening in the present where you can actually be effective.

Working with your hands is also a great avenue for channeling both mental and physical nervous energy. Your medium, whichever you choose, is a blank canvas on which to externalize your thoughts and emotions. This process often illuminates additional perspective and provides clarity about your experience. Often, there’s an added bonus of a sense of accomplishment. P.S. Talent is not required, and scrutiny is not recommended. We’re not starting a career as a writer, artist, etc. This is all about self-expression and self-discovery. Your creations are purely for your benefit.

And last, but not least . . .

SEX

I saved sex for last because it impacts us on all three levels – body, mind, and spirit. Study after study has shown that mutual, consensual sex, especially within a loving relationship, is beneficial to both men and women on multiple levels, including mood, health, and relationship bonds. During sexual activity, the brain releases a multitude of hormones, including dopamine (instrumental in the brain’s pleasure and rewards center), endorphins (known to reduce pain and stress), oxytocin (the cuddle hormone), and prolactin, which helps you fall asleep and sleep deeper.

In addition to reducing anxiety and boosting your mood, sex has the added health benefits of reducing risk of heart disease and prostate cancer, lowering blood pressure, and giving your immune system a boost – all good reasons to relax and let go of unnecessary stress. Finally, loving sex between partners can strengthen you relationship bond and foster a deeper connection. This sense of closeness helps anchor us when faced with anxiousness and uncertainty, and can provide that next level of support when we’re struggling.

So there you have it – a multi-faceted approach to tackling the anxiety that plagues you. Notice the active nature of the word “tackling.” Don’t let anxiety run your life. Get in the driver’s seat and conquer your anxiety head on. If you’re still stuck in anxiety despite your best efforts, find yourself a good counselor to help guide your journey. The sacred, private space, new perspective, and objective support can help shake loose those areas where you’re stalled. Contact us today for a free consultation for anxiety therapy. You got this!

"The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional.”          ~ Max Lucado