I Will Be a Success When….

Written by Alicia Lamar

HFC San Antonio Psychotherapist

I Will Be a Success When….

What is success? Success can be measured in many ways.

A full bank account

Job titles

Social status

Relationships

The dream car

Education

Success can also be a state of being.

Inner peace

Wellbeing

Self-acceptance

Contentment

Balance

Connection

Are they mutually exclusive? Not necessarily.

Tombstone exercise. I know; it sounds grim.

This is an exercise that I borrowed from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) developed by Dr. Steven Hayes.

Imagine that you are crafting the words that would appear on your tombstone or obituary. Really dig into what the words would say and how you would want to be remembered. I am guessing that “Banker” or “My BMI was within normal range” or “I drove an electric car” are not on the top of your list. Why not? These are part of your identity but do not reflect the essence of who you are.

Identify the areas in your life that have value and meaning to you.

You may be thinking, “I don’t really like who I am” or “I don’t really have anything else to write”. I would invite you to take this opportunity to reflect on this feeling. Ask yourself who you are, who you want to be, who you can be, or who you can work toward being.

For example: I want to be or am…

A great friend

An honest person

A supportive partner

Someone with a great sense of humor 

Take Action

Begin to work toward being the person that you want to be. Be a patient observer of your life. When you think or behave contrary to your identified value- Notice. Ask yourself, is this working toward the person I want to be or taking me in another direction. Redirect- change your behavior to reflect your identified and valued self.

Success is not what you are but who you are.

If you are struggling to define success, work burnout counseling could help you. Contact us today to set up a free consultation.