This week we are on to date number six: fun and adventure! The Gottmans’ and Abrams’ discuss the vital importance play has in a relationship, stating that couples who play together, stay together. And, play is not just for children – our sense of adventure and need for play, never goes away. This date focuses on gaining a better understanding of what play means for your partner and what the two of you might enjoy doing together. Questions to discuss on this date might be: When was the last time you felt excited or curious while you were with your partner?
Read MoreThis week we are on to date number five: family and children(?). This chapter hones in on the importance of talking about family desires within your relationship. “What’s most important is that you talk about what family means and what you both want your family to look like and be like.”
Read MoreThis week we are on to date number four: work and money. Research has shown that financial arguments are the single best predictor of divorce and are one of the top five reasons couples fight. With this information in mind, figuring out the meaning of money and work is incredibly important for the success of your relationship.
Read More“It’s not you, it’s them.” Have you heard that before? It might be a friend comforting you after another break-up, or even a therapist helping you making sense of the ending of your relationship.
Read MoreIf you are just tuning into this new blog series, I highly suggest going back to read/complete the first date topic, trust and commitment, and the second date topic, conflict. As a recap, Eight Dates is a date guide about 8 different beneficial conversations that help couples to connect and gain a better understanding of one another.
Read MoreConflict is necessary. It happens, and it is a growth opportunity in relationships. I caught myself recently having a conversation with my husband that made me chuckle because it was exactly what I hear and talk about daily in the counseling office with my couple clients.
Read MoreIf you are just tuning into this new blog series, I highly suggest going back to read/complete the first date topic, trust and commitment. As a recap, Eight Dates is a date guide about 8 different beneficial conversations that help couples to connect and gain a better understanding of one another. Over the next couple of months, I will be completing overviews of each date conversation.
Read MoreIf you follow our social media pages, you may have noticed the influx of Gottman quotes that have been used in the past few weeks. These quotes have been pulled from their latest book, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Eight Dates is a date guide about 8 different beneficial conversations that help connect and unify couples.
Read MoreAccording to John Gottman, PhD, researcher and couples therapist extraordinaire, date night is an essential pillar in healthy relationships. It may be easy to write this practice off as frivolous and unnecessary, but it’s neither. Date Night is about quality time spent connecting to one another through relaxation, play, and focused attention.
Read MoreDr. Gary Chapman’s decades-old book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, attempts to unveil the mystery of effectively showing our partner love, as well as how we receive love. We all make efforts to show our love in one way or another, so it can be frustrating and disheartening when a partner says he or she feels invisible, unloved, or unimportant. “How can they not know?”, we wonder. “I never get any credit for my efforts.”
Read MoreWith Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I wanted to offer you all some thoughts for how to share the day with your partner (if the two of you celebrate the holiday)!
Read MoreEver had an argument or conversation with a significant other where you walked away thinking, “That conversation did not start or end like I anticipated!” I think most people can relate to this experience. One of the most helpful things that I have found for couple is to start the conversation in a better, less defensive way so that the conversation continues to be more open and non-judgmental. Dr. John Gottman has perfected the method for couples to begin a conversation in a non-defensive manner called softened start-ups.
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