Making the decision to become a parent can be exhilarating and a journey filled with joy. However, now more than ever parents, particularly mothers and birthing folx, face assumptions of motherhood/parenthood that masquerade as truths.
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If you are reading this, it is likely that you are already somewhat familiar with the Enneagram personality system. Some say it was invented in 1915, but others will argue that it was established by monks centuries earlier. It was originally designed to help individuals engage in deep self-reflection and heal emotional wounds.
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You did it, momma. You carried this little life for 9 months, went to countless appointments, and labored for hours (or not if you’re one of the lucky ones) and now you are holding a little one in your arms. Many people will give you all the advice about how to care for baby and what to do once they are here, but often don’t tell you how to care for yourself once baby is here. The moment that little one arrives, your hold world becomes about them and it is easy for you to forget to care for yourself. Sometimes, it’s not that you don’t want to, but truly feel like you are unable to.
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When you look back on your teenage years, do you have memories of confidence, fun, happiness, and connection? Yes? Well lucky you! For most, the teenage years are a pretty rough time riddled with conflict and shame. There is always conflict with parents who are trying to do their best, with friends who are doing whatever it takes to survive, and within our inner selves as we begin the journey of figuring out who we are and what this life is really all about.
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When clients present with symptoms of anxiety, my immediate reaction is to let them know that they are not alone. I normalize the heck out of any shame or confusion and commend them for listening to their bodies and getting the little bit of help they need.
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July’s highlighted position of the month, is the Sphinx Seduction. While a sexual experience is a time to emotionally connect with one another, it is also a great time to get your blood pumping and release physical energy together. In the midst of a quarantine, it could also help you both to feel more connected to one another and ease any stress that both of you might be feeling.
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I suggest journaling to many of my clients as a tool for self-reflection, self-understanding and discovery and most importantly, as a mindful tool. Dan Seigel has researched and written so many wonderful books on how important mindfulness is for growth and healing.
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Falling in love is so much fun. It’s so much fun in fact, that you actually become addicted to it; while falling in love, your brain release chemicals, such as vasopressin, adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin that allow you to feel pleasure and a euphoric sense of purpose.
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Even though much of society is preparing for the re-opening of businesses, I still thought it pertinent to include some recommendations that have been posted for Sex and the Coronavirus Pandemic (found here). The safest recommended person to have sex with is still yourself (YAY - for masturbation), and then the next safest person being someone that you live with, as you are already vulnerable to being exposed to one another.
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During this time little ones may be having trouble identifying and expressing feelings. You may notice an increase in tantrums, anxiety and fighting between siblings. It’s always important to remember that all behavior is communication.
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April’s highlighted position of the month, is the Buck Up. A sexual experience is a time to emotionally connect with one another, but it is also a great time to get your blood pumping and release some physical energy together.
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Repeatedly in session, I get the question, “how do I stop thinking like this?” The strength that is true for many of my clients is that they have self-awareness. They know their thinking is unhealthy. They know they are unhappy. They know they are easily triggered. They know they gravitate towards relationships and situations that reinforce their negative emotions… but they do not know how to stop repeating the same unwanted patterns.
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