Using Positive Language

We are all guilty of using negative language, “stop that”, “don’t you dare”. In the moment, it is hard for caregivers to remember to stop and use positive language, especially when a child is doing something particularly dangerous.

Co-regulation: Elementary Years

Through the elementary years, children gain insight on how to better control their emotions, behavior, and attention. Children gain the ability to cope with impulses and delayed gratification. Children begun to think about thought processes, emotion, and develop critical thinking skills.

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Co-regulation: Infancy to Pre-school

Children experience periods of rapid growth in areas of the brain associated with self-regulation. Piggy- backing off of the toddler years, it is important to continue to reinforce emotion identification, perspective-taking, calm down strategies, and problem-solving. I can not express enough how important it is to model the behavior and skills you are teaching your children.

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Teaching Kids Body Boundaries

Imagine you are getting ready to leave when grandma reaches down and kisses their grandchild. Your child accepts the kiss but as soon as they get in the car, they express their strong dislike for grandma’s kisses. You feel conflicted on what to say. You don’t want to hurt grandmas feelings, but you also want to make your kid feel comfortable. This is a common situation and a perfect open door to begin talking to your child about their body boundaries and consent.

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Overreactions, Exaggerations, and Tantrums, Oh My!

I am big on family systems therapy, even when working with individuals. This means that when I work with an individual client I keep in mind the dynamics of the entire family.

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Taming a Tantrum

You’re in the grocery store, you see a child screaming, crying, and hiding behind a rack of clothes. We’ve all probably witnessed a version of this. We quietly say in our heads, “they sure know how to throw a tantrum.” I’ve worked with many parents who seek counseling for tantrums. As I began working with more and more children, I noticed a difference in the language. Some parents would describe their child’s behavior as tantrums while others expressed them as meltdowns. Curious, I did some research.

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The Power of Pause

I work with children and parents who often have trouble “pausing”. As humans, our first instinct is to react when a situation arises. When our child is not listening to us, our first instinct is to respond with a demand. It usually sounds something like, “If you don’t _____, I will____”. These reactions, in part, are due to time restraints, stress, and a lack of understanding of what our child’s behavior may be indicating.

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Perspective-Taking in Children

I once had a child tell me that taking someone else’s perspective is impossible. Children, especially those diagnosed with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders, tend to take things literally and struggle with perspective-taking. This is because of a child’s cognitive development. Jean Piaget, a renowned psychologist and child development theorist, developed the stage theory of cognitive development that is still used to understand children today. This theory includes 4 stages

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Heights Family Counseling Anniversary- Pause, Reflect, Celebrate, and Shift

According to LinkedIn, today marks a year that Heights Family Counseling has been open. I have a love for dates. They allow us to pause, reflect, celebrate, and shift.

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Understanding your child’s Love Language

Many of us have heard of the book, The Five Love Languages. Couples are the first to buy the book, hoping it will shed light on how to better show love to their partner. Yet, many stop there, and few think about what their child’s love language is. Understanding how your child gives and receives love is important to their emotional development. So, how do we show our children the love they need? First, identify their love language.

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Hurricane Harvey: A Year Later

As we come upon the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Harvey, we may experience a multitude of emotions. Some may feel a sense of relief that the hardship of the flood is over as they move back into their homes and continue with daily life tasks. However, others of us may still sense the emotional turmoil that Hurricane Harvey left us with.

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Breathing Exercise of the Week!

Last week’s recommended breathing exercise was all about calming unwanted nerves and feelings of anxiety; this week’s is designed to give you a little more pep in your step!

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