People often think of abusive relationships as violent, horrendous, and bloody, like something you would see on some sensational television drama. While that is the experience of many, other survivors may not relate. In fact, more often than not, domestic violence does not involve the use of physical abuse. Non-physical forms of abuse can be just as if not even more painful and harmful to survivors’ wellbeing.
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The steps seem so easy in this all too familiar playground song. We were taught at a young age that after you fall in love, you get married, then you have children… And then everyone lives happily ever after. We now know that relationships and love can come in many different forms and don’t always follow this simple childhood song; however, many still continue to believe in the fairytale of what we think life will look like after having a baby. For many, they believe their relationship will grow stronger, they will feel more in love, and live blissfully ever after when starting a family.
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I suggest journaling to many of my clients as a tool for self-reflection, self-understanding and discovery and most importantly, as a mindful tool. Dan Seigel has researched and written so many wonderful books on how important mindfulness is for growth and healing.
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Falling in love is so much fun. It’s so much fun in fact, that you actually become addicted to it; while falling in love, your brain release chemicals, such as vasopressin, adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin that allow you to feel pleasure and a euphoric sense of purpose.
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I was sitting on the couch with my husband, eating my favorite chips from childhood, and watching a movie from the 80’s, when I asked, “Do you think our kids are regressing during all of this?” I knew the answer. In some ways the regressions were positive: more imaginary play, time away from structured activities lead to more free play, and more independence.
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As Robert Frost writes in his poem Mending Wall, “Good fences make good neighbors.” It’s a metaphor for relationships (all kinds) that I can definitely get behind. Boundaries are our metaphorical fences, and they come in several shapes and sizes.
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During this time little ones may be having trouble identifying and expressing feelings. You may notice an increase in tantrums, anxiety and fighting between siblings. It’s always important to remember that all behavior is communication.
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I’m not here to shout toxic positivity your way. My entire body recognizes the magnitude of the pandemic- from grief of losing loved ones, to loss of life’s milestones, to job insecurity of loss, we are hurting. However, I do want to discuss the importance a few of my favorite things resiliency, gratitude and radical acceptance.
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Who grew up watching Cheers?!? The theme song was perfect. At its core, it was about yearning to heal and connect through spending time with familiar faces. That’s what makes this pandemic more difficult. We need to connect. We need to have our familiar comforts, but we likely feel limited with what’s available.
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April’s highlighted position of the month, is the Buck Up. A sexual experience is a time to emotionally connect with one another, but it is also a great time to get your blood pumping and release some physical energy together.
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No doubt, we are all experiencing various levels of unease during this time of uncertainty. Many of our fears and worries are grounded in gravity of the health concerns rippling across the globe. Honestly, it’s a scary time for all of us. If you happen to be someone who already struggles with mental health issues, this worldwide experience could have an overwhelming impact.
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The practice of self-soothing is the ability to calm ourselves during stressful events. When we are going through a stressful or traumatic experience, or even if we have experienced trauma in our past, the practice of self-soothing is critical.
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